Ozlilly's musings...



So it was sixteen weeks last Monday. This week I had my last physiotherapy. I was still in the waiting room recognizing that it is actually all up to me now how much I do and how fast I recover.

The therapist usually spends most of the time asking me what I did, how it was and then explaining new exercises for me to do. I told him I have a problem with memory so he writes them down for me. We know there is no point in adding more than one or two at a time.
I do the cycling religiously every day. I mean religiously. We pray together every morning and night and I cycle practically every morning. When I told the therapist that since dropping the pain killers that I actually did have pain and felt tired, he urged me to be kinder to myself and occasionally allow a day off and not try to do too much. I’m gratified that he recognized that I am really making effort. The flip-side is then I easily lax off too much.
Finding the right balance is the key. Then getting up again and starting over any time, every time is important.

Our breakfasts together are our core communication time. When he works in the mornings I’ll often do a 16-8 fast and cycle either before we pray if I am up by six-thirty, or then after he leaves for work around seven-thirty. This fulfils the doctor’s orders of exercise on an empty stomach and then I can have my shower and feel like I can really start my day.
On weekends our breakfast often goes on for hours. So I know if we’ve slept in, I don’t want to delay breakfast as then it feels like half my day is gone. So I plan to cycle an hour later, or some other time between meals.
Like today. He is meeting about his working papers on his current project issues this afternoon. So I do want to get around to cycling and then having my shower.

I’ve managed to walk much more. I’ve gone out for walks even apart from the twice-weekly physiotherapy appointments. This is important because the therapy is over for now and I need good habits and paradigms.
I could go on and on about the physical aspects. There is more. This week I had a few meetings; Tuesday in particular, after the Monday public national holiday.
After the Toastmasters meeting at lunchtime, there was the WiN meeting at five. Both now have issues with their video publication.
I have to reflect on all the projects I have invested in and where they lead to. (I set up the YouTube channels for both TM and WiN yet did not manage an effective handover. Also the constant changes in the social media sites and my lack of persistence in maintaining all these sites….)
So I come to ask myself, Do I want to make a lifelong commitment, or do I pass on a legacy? Do I claim ownership? Or do I find an appropriate heir? How do you pass on your expertise in a growing, changing organisation if nobody really cares or believes you? I guess these are the feelings I have been dealing with for a long time.
I mean most people who have ever left a job have often wondered what happened in the company after they left. Somethings you just have to let go. You know how they say that no man is irreplaceable.
I think of my investment in the Adelaide community in the nineteen-seventies when I left behind my photos and other potentially valuable legacies in my selfless conviction that it was to serve the whole, the greater good.
We did the same again in Medford, OR and Yakima, WA, in America in the eighties, when we closed our church centres and felt like we were leaving our investments behind for the greater good.
Years later as we reflect on our life of faith and look for examples or evidence of our work we wonder whether perhaps we should have taken some of those “heirlooms” or legacies with us after all? What happened to all those videos, photos, diaries, that personally signed photograph of Reverend Moon?
Nowadays many Unificationists are starting to publish books and memoirs. Yes, my blog is also a part of my legacy and the basis for my memoirs. Yet I can’t help thinking about all that other stuff that got lost along the way.

It must be remembrance day.
You really need to find the balance of reflection and conviction in moving forward.
As I hear my 92-year-old mother is not so well and people all over the world are remembering their loved ones, I consider how we never really got into the habit of visiting cemeteries. Since I grew up in Australia we never had anyone to visit in a cemetery. Now I am not there and my mother goes to visit my Father’s grave. My trip to Europe in the seventies was an eye-opener for me as I realised that my cousins were connected to their ancestors because they passed by their grave every Sunday when they went to church.
We think of those we love and miss and I guess that’s why I am so committed to my photos and videos. So weird to consider the quality and standard that is possible nowadays. As I pore over my old documents I’m easily tempted to just trash it all – such poor quality. Yet my realisation that we are a product of the past, a legacy of those who went before us, pushes me to continue to seek to order and arrange that legacy.
I’ve been occupying myself with a lot of paradigm-changing in my realization that we are all born rich. I listen to Bob Proctor talk about God and spirit and wonder why Father Moon suffered so much persecution while Bob Proctor appears to have the same message?
Of course, we all perceive our own aspects and resonate with different parts of each message.
It’s hallo Wien. Thanks for listening. I’ll talk to you again soon.

About the author 

Lilly Gundacker

Lilly Gundacker is an Australian living in Austria, now in Vienna. With a loving husband and gifted adult children' she excels at Communication, Family, Marriage and is an Organizational expert. As a retired International Civil Servant and dedicated Unificationist she motivates, inspires, engages, and makes a difference!

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