Ozlilly's musings...


I am a mother of five boys. My mother was a mother of five. She had four boys and me. My happiest moment today, on Mother’s Day, is to hear from my second son, that he made MY mother happy today!

A wise man once told me that your parents only want you to be happy. We do not always understand it that way. Sometimes when our parents tell us what to do or seemingly curtail our “freedoms”, we feel upset. Sometimes I used to get upset at my mother that she even tried to control the people that I met at certain times of day or night, simply because I was back under her roof.
I posted a photo of myself and my husband today with the caption: Mothers and those pretending to be. Well really what is a mother, but the partner of a father? Can I be a mother without the father of my children? Could my mother be my mother without my father?

Fathers and mothers

Motherhood and gender-ism may or may not be related. I know that my parents worked together to raise us to become decent kids. And we are. All five of us. Thanks Mum.
I know that my husband and I must have done something right because our boys all turned out fine. Thanks hubby.
I know that the man I married is my destiny and it was the Heavenly Mother – Father, Parent who chose him for me. Thank you True Parents.
I know if you are reading this you may be interested in what I have to say about motherhood. Sometimes I think you’ll only be reading it because I was the one who opted out of the role of motherhood and left my kids at home with my husband while I went to work. Well, guess what? That was before the gender debate and we did it by our own free choice! And guess what else? There was no paid paternity leave! And I did not have a well paid job at the UN when I first left my husband and kids to support them exclusively on my single income as a woman! Of course the Austrian social system helped. There is child endowment. I really do not know how we would have survived without that. And I did receive some of the maternity benefits. Not for the first child because I arrived in this country already pregnant. Also, as I became pregnant with the next one soon afterwards, I also had no paid maternity leave for him, except for the sixteen weeks called “Mutterschutz”, here in Austria – mother protection, because my husband had already registered me as his office help in his own business. But hey, we are a family. He worked day and night and brought home the bacon to feed us. Then he worked even harder so that he could pay his share of the required fees and taxes for me to be officially registered. But then when the third one came and I actually received maternity leave payments I really became the finance manager. I must admit that I am somewhat of a natural when it comes to organizing and planning and coordinating. Believe me having two children was easier than having only the one. Somebody told me that the jump from three to four was critical. Well, I was one of five and I really wanted to have five and I am really grateful that we were blessed with five children. But then the youngest was only two years old when we did the role change. So I went off to work every day and left the kids home with my husband. And mine was the only income. It sort of came about because after my maternity leave, he would have been penalized if he did not re-employ me. No-body told us about courses I could have done, or any other alternatives we may have had. And no, there was no paid leave for fathers staying home with their kids while mothers went to work.
So why all this on Mothers Day?
My paediatrician once told me that you can never give children enough love. You should never feel guilty as a mother.
Today we heard about an organization that works to heal families and they say there are no bad mothers.
Last week I met a colleague who is on maternity leave with her new born baby. She said to me: I did not know that it is possible to love somebody so much.
Today we heard about the love of children for parents, the love of couples for each other, the love of parents for children. But the crowning glory is when your own children have children whom you can love. You love them even more. More than you ever imagined possible.

Mothers Day family shot

So thank you children for being with my mother on Mothers Day. Thank you for being with me. And thank you to all the fathers that made mothers into mothers. And thanks to all the mothers all over. And here’s to more fathers actually being fathers!

About the author 

Lilly Gundacker

Lilly Gundacker is an Australian living in Austria, now in Vienna. With a loving husband and gifted adult children' she excels at Communication, Family, Marriage and is an Organizational expert. As a retired International Civil Servant and dedicated Unificationist she motivates, inspires, engages, and makes a difference!

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