Do you know the feeling?
I get all inspired and think of all the fantastic stuff I could share, until I get down to doing it and then don’t know what to say?
I told my physiotherapist this morning that I need a checklist. I am a brain led person, I said, and I read books from front to back, never just spontaneously opening anywhere for inspiration (like my husband!) or, heaven forbid! read the end before even starting! (Like my son!)
I do my exercises in the order that she gives them to me. I suggested more time between each session to allow for daily integration into my schedule. I’m already cycling 30 minutes a day and started the bridge exercise in bed when I get up. The staircase three times a day has gone backstage. The balancing, knee bends and lunges are to be alternated, providing a rich repertoire. She said it’s important to do just 15 minutes every day rather than two hours once and then forget it. I had to address this with her the next time because I’m already doing more than forty-five minutes a day and to include everything she teaches me would take up much more time than that.
I was so grateful for her listening ears. I mean she really listened. And she explained that she wanted me to have that repertoire which I could vary each day, to train all of my muscles. I am really feeling the progress by the way. I still have a bit of pain in the right knee, especially when going up or down the stairs. But I really feel like I am much more mobile now.
The kids came on Sunday and even commented when we went out for a walk. We walked to the old AKH, now the University of Vienna. It was a lovely sunny day. I realised I will need to start using sunscreen now when I go out.
I say I’m brain heavy but that’s not really true either, because I am also heart led. I cry with everyone who tells their story and I know exactly what you mean even when you can’t find the words for it.
I was in physiotherapy before my first knee operation last year, and after, and now since my second knee OP. I have just two more sessions scheduled.
I’m amused at the therapist’s seeming curiosity about my daily zoom meetings and her question about whether I will be working tomorrow, a public holiday here in Austria. She is young and I wonder what her personal situation is.
I bought myself a royal blue plush sweater with the rehabilitation clinic logo on it. I’ve been wearing it during my on-line meetings in full consciousness that I am still in recovery mode.
So that implies: love yourself. Be kind. Be patient. Everything is gonna be alright. Some people may think I am hyperactive. I keep busy, am never bored and nobody would dream that I don’t work. Yet my attitude is really, I’m in recovery, I’m getting ready for the next phase of my life.
It’s true I’m supporting webinars and NGO activities and even committed to another voluntary translation project. They are all hobbies. My real hobbies are photos and videos. I want to do a video course to edit all the videos I’ve made over the years and start sharing more of my thoughts and experiences.
I mean lately, each morning, as I listen to Bob Proctor teach his invaluable material, I think about how I could express it better, differently, from a principled point of view. I signed up to a few Principle education video webinars and meetings with the intention of getting up-to-date, to be able to start teaching this stuff again myself. Each time I got caught as another clash on a prior commitment comes up and I don’t get to attend the whole series of principle lectures. Thankfully, lots of stuff is getting recorded now and being made available for later viewing.
Sometimes I really just revel in the solitude after Josef leaves for work and I think about the way I rushed off to work every morning and came home to a bustling family for over 20 years! No wonder I keep “liking” the Motherly posts and think about what we baby boomers and even more, our own mothers, went through. My mother, in Australia, her parents a million miles away in Europe. Not only no (mobile) phone, no internet, no WhatsApp, no Facebook.
She didn’t even have electricity or running water for the first two years!
I have not posted a single blog article in the whole month of April! How could that happen? Did you miss me? When I look at the title of my last post, I really wonder what have I been doing? I had the impulse to go over my diary and find a few snippets that I wrote in my daily reflections. I know I made a few social media entries in April and thought I would eventually get around to my blog. I posted on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and LinkedIn. So, I thought eventually I’ll write an article and link the rest.
I already told you that April and May are still my months of recuperation. I mean intensive recuperation. I spent the month of February in the rehabilitation clinic.
I’ve been an idealistic, optimistic person of faith for a very long time.
Often, I’ve allowed my dreams to be dampened by physical realities, digital shortcomings, and my own sheer ignorance. You can always listen to those who want to give you good advice. You can even politely nod and say, that’s interesting. You do not have to swallow every crushing comment that comes your way.
Am I comparing myself to others? Am I trying to be somebody else? Who am I after all? Yes, that has been my quest – to identify the real me. Yet, inside, I already know. I am the motivation trainer. Everything I do is my contribution to making the world a better place. Yet still hesitant to speak out at every little thing that I think could be better. I’ve given my critique and felt judged and misunderstood. Hey, I never meant to hurt anybody! I just saw how it could be better and thought you might want to know.
I did so much and never wrote to you about it, my dear blog followers. Some of you caught it on FaceBook or YouTube or Instagram or Twitter. I told you about checklists? No? I’m going to implement checklists, tracking. Like my Fitbit which tracks my steps. I’ll start writing about what I do.
This blog is just one step in the process. Oh, and my Sunday sermon is on vimeo.