Ozlilly's musings...


change the battery

Laptop Repair, Thanks Timi
We are living in this big flat in the middle of the city, with more room for just the two of us than we ever had for our family of seven.
Our kids had to share rooms. We even slept on the couch in the living room for a while in Linz before we moved to Zwettl. We turned our bedroom into the second children’s room, unfolded the couch every night after prayer.
It’s really amazing what you can endure when necessary.

It’s also easy to get spoiled once you’ve experienced something better. Like that fast pc and then going to an old one with less capacity.
No way! you say.

Time Passes
I’m factually reflecting on aging and the passing of time. I was surprised to recognize that I did not go through a typical empty-nest syndrome, or menopause issues.
Yet, I still wish we could all live together, somehow, see more of each other, without getting in each other’s hair.
As I recognize my kids travel around and experience all sorts of stuff which would really interest me, I also acknowledge that I left home without looking back and had no consideration of what my parents may have thought or gone through.

My Mother
I knew that my mother was going through menopause as I was going through puberty. I was a very aware young lady. I knew she needed more input and exchange with other mothers of daughters my age. I knew it was not just my problem.
Then it happened and she went out to work again. That really helped her. She did home help. Everybody loved her. It helped me too. I went through early puberty.
So, no hard feelings kids. And I know you keep telling me to call you.

Call me
You know I was the one to call my Mum. Despite the issues or problems or difficulties we had. I called her often and regularly. It was my duty. She used to call her parents. True, she had her kitchen alarm set to three or five minutes and the calls were very expensive back then. But she did it. You can keep telling me to call. I am not my mother.

She is gone. And I am becoming more and more aware that one day I will be too.
Have I written my memoirs? Not yet. But I blog.
I’m coming to understand why my mother tried to seriously declutter. She had to deal with her parents’ stuff. My brothers dealt with our parents’ stuff. They are all there. I am here.

Now I am here, and my kids are… well – they are not far. I am looking forward to Christmas when we will all come together. Down Under they arranged an early meeting because now that Mum is gone and the house is up for sale, well, why, where, when?
So, they found a date at the beginning of December. And I didn’t fly down because of Corona. And now because, because…why?

I once said this blog is my own accountability journal. Now that I have started another website, Dream Job UN, I’m feeling like I can be a bit freer here without the pressure to structure what I write. I write how I think.
I wanted to say how grateful I am to each of my kids. Timi came the other day and replaced the battery in my laptop. It was while I was preparing for my presentation for the International WFWP Webinar. My pc just crashed. Thankfully I had prepared my talk and the presentation. I had even practised and recorded to share just in case all else fails. We have had that situation in WFWP where someone in Lebanon or elsewhere suddenly has no internet and we have no recording. I was quite proud of myself for unusually good preparation. So then when the pc crashed it was interesting. Challenging but interesting.
Once the meeting started, or at least the premeeting preparations, we had similar issues. Computers not starting. Not updated. Presentations not received. Then I realized how much I have grown. How I have learned and provided and was ultimately quite pleased with my presentation.

Never Stop Dreaming
I still like having my kids around for support. I still dream of my great big country retreat where we can all have our private residences and connect when we want to.
Meanwhile I appreciate being in the middle of the city and I could spontaneously decide to attend the Disarmament Education conference just an hour before start.
The question what’s better working for the UN or for an NGO – was a very valid question. I’ll still write about that.

About the author 

Lilly Gundacker

Lilly Gundacker is an Australian living in Austria, now in Vienna. With a loving husband and gifted adult children' she excels at Communication, Family, Marriage and is an Organizational expert. As a retired International Civil Servant and dedicated Unificationist she motivates, inspires, engages, and makes a difference!

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