I flip through the emails in my inbox. Many are inspiring news, information, webinars and invitations to wonderful meetings, all promising to make my life better.

The beautiful message last Sunday described the four candles in the Christmas wreath.
Yet just now, my focus is on recovering from my second knee operation

and dealing with the constant and excruciating pain. It means I take medication four times a day. It means I try to follow the instructions on the medical report to reduce the prescribed medication.
Luckily I know from the first knee operation in July, that everybody reacts differently. And I know that in the Acute Geriatric Remobilization they actually administered opioids to help relieve my extreme pain and to encourage more active movement. This second time I’ve been sent home after less than a week in hospital and due to Covid we are still distancing from “unnecessary” medical visits. So I rely on my own judgement in terms of dosing my medication.
In general, I sense that this right knee is recovering more quickly than the left one. It is not as swollen and inflamed as the left one was. I do not need a daily ice-pack on it.
Funny though, my physiotherapist suggested that the ice-packs were counterproductive as they restricted the circulation and prevented the proper healing. There is always a fine line between what is good for one or the other. In Baumgartner Hoehe and in Speising, they offered the ice-packs several times a day.
So I’ve completed a few more details of gory details in my parallels.

I think of the WFWP meeting I supported last week and the issues we had with the break-out rooms. I think I’d like to set up a professional office support where I can provide competent services and support the projects I really want to support. I was planning on getting a new stand pc anyhow.
I hear Josef discussing his critique of the WHO sexual health standards on the phone next door. I remember when we moved into this flat and he suggested we sit together in the one office. Now even just having to listen to all his negotiations, I’m relieved that he has now set himself up in the other room. Our idea of “meeting room” has not quite fruited. Sure we meet as a family there and we’ve had a few various meetings there. Perhaps next year, once my knees are better, I’ll get my flipchart and actually start inviting people over for meetings.
This year has certainly turned out quite different than we all expected, hasn’t it?
It’s funny for me though to hear people express their thoughts about the year. For me, it was the year of my project health. I don’t mind being at home. I don’t mind being alone. I’m grateful for the opportunities to join meetings on-line. I’m glad I can support Toastmasters, UPF, Women’s Federation and WiN meetings.
Actually I think I want to invest more in my health in meetings and feedback.
It’s all about telling my story. I tend to need the time-out getting distracted while waiting for the pills to work and then enjoy a few episodes of some crime series.
I’ve made a thirty-minute video of my fourth son’s first few years for his 26th birthday. Now I’ve also made a video of my mother’s visits to us here in Europe in the early nineties. My niece has thoughtfully suggested we all write some memories to share for Christmas with my mother who is 92 years old. She is the only granddaughter of thirteen grandchildren. I was the only daughter of five children. Now my Mum has five great-grandchildren and two are girls.
Timi brought us an Advent Calendar just in time for the beginning of December. The following week he came with his girlfriend to bring us a Nicolo sack with cookies,

Home baked cookies

Nicolo sack

mandarins and nuts. All correctly distanced, just delivered and went on to two of his other brothers. It is so inspiring when the kids grow up and want to return to the parents what they received as children.
I posted my table topics response in the Toastmasters meeting because the topic was Christmas. I’ve even thought about writing Christmas cards or even starting an annual report. It is just so weird to actually have time to do that right now. I’ve never had time for such things! I mean, yes, years ago, like 27 years ago, I did write 120 Christmas cards. The last few years Josef has occasionally prepared a card for us.
I think of Mother Moon and the Rallies of Hope that have been held this year.
I’ve joined a few prayer meetings and been asked about my health in light of Mother Moon’s knee operations this year. Of course, I often think of Mother Moon and wonder what her doctors are telling her. It’s been an interesting experience for me having been operated in two different hospitals and experiencing two different recovery processes. I felt compelled to point out that having both knees operated at once is fairly typical in America and generally not practised in Austria.

I’m glad I’ve had the second one operated because it was starting to get really sore after the first leg was corrected as the bow-leggedness was straightened and the other knee still had a six-degree angle. I’m not sure what my current status is because now I’m suffering extreme back pain at the base of the spine. It really feels like the right leg now is longer. Tomorrow it’s four weeks since the second operation. Speising said use crutches for four weeks. Penzing said six weeks. Last time I was already in rehabilitation shortly after the six weeks and exchanged the crutches for Nordic walking sticks. However, my medication was still strong. So why am I beating myself up about not really reducing the drugs this time? I’m not even on opioids! Just because that’s what we do, isn’t it? We beat ourselves up.

Dwight McKee says focus on what you want. It’s been a downright struggle these past four weeks to focus on being pain-free. Each time I try to extend my deadline and stretch my limits, I falter and succumb and take my pills. I have to wait half an hour before they start to work. And sometimes four hours later I am already in pain again. It means I wake up in the morning and take my stomach block. Then I lay down another thirty minutes before I take my pain killers and blood pressure tablets. Then I lay down another thirty minutes for the pain killers to work. Sometimes I end up sleeping another few hours. But that doesn’t matter. Last time I was in the clinic and only getting up for meals and physiotherapy.
So you see, I am actually more active. So maybe that’s also why the knee is probably recovering faster than the other one.
Yet I’m not going out for walks, I’m not signing up for all the possible meetings. I’m not even reading all the emails coming into my in-box.
So, now I’ve told you how I am. I’m glad the second operation is taken care of and looking forward to the new year.