If I didn’t have children, I would have time to create photo albums. I have children and lots of photos. One day I will make a photo album for each child. When I have time.
If I didn’t have to work, I would have time to bake cookies. I go to work and my husband has baked the Christmas cookies.
If I won the lottery, I would buy a house. But I do not buy lottery tickets and I do not know right now where I want to live, so please, do not let me win the lottery just yet.
I am so grateful that most of my children came home for Christmas and I could bake the Christmas turkey dinner. We enjoyed our traditional meal and then played a few family games together in the evening. Then we even watched a movie together and had some microwave popcorn. Now I am in the process of teasing my kids by posting my blog expressing thoughts which nobody else reads, but which make me feel better.
I reflect on the past year and the three dear girlfriends, who surely had no idea that they would not live till Christmas. I also do not know how long I will live. I have been confident that I will live a long life like my mother and grandmothers before me. But who knows? Sometimes my knees are so sore, and sometimes I just get tired. Who knows how many more Christmases I will experience? So, I determined to write my blog, and now, perhaps publish everything afterall, rather than put a one year delay, to publish later, when, things are forgotten, when nobody will get upset, when it is safe, when I won’t be challenged. I’ve posted my “Apology” and now publish freely. If you disagree, let me know. Let’s see what we can do.
I look forward to go home to Australia to celebrate my mother’s 90th birthday together with her, my four brothers and one of my five sons. I look forward to the warmth and the light. I have been complaining about the cold and the dark, living here in Austria. I have said that I am glad that the 21st of December has passed and now already look forward to the days gradually getting longer and longer again every day. However, I am so grateful for the opportunity I have had, living in Austria and working at the United Nations (UN). Even the Governor General of Australia, did not know that Vienna was a UN Headquarters city until he came here this year. Maybe, I didn’t even know that either, before I came here to Austria twenty-nine years ago. Now I know and I am just so grateful that I have such incredible opportunities. Not only that I had my five sons here and they all became Vienna Boys Choir boys; not only that I have become fluent in German and comfortable living in Austria, not even that I did a role change and my Austrian husband took over full responsibility for the children while I went to a full –time job in the city. Before that I spent ten years at home, taking care of our five boys, as well as his home office while he was a travelling salesman.
I still remember when I bought him his first mobile phone. It was together with a subscription to a newspaper. It was in the days before domestic internet and I relied on radio, television and newspapers and magazines for world news. I often would have liked to listen to the television news, but as soon as I turned the TV on, the children would sit down to watch with me, and I did not want that. We got a video machine and I began recording children’s programmes to replay for them, so that we were not dependant on the television. But it meant I could not watch the news, when I wanted to.
The mobile phone. Yes. The mobile phone. I bought him a mobile phone so finally I could call to ask him whether he was coming home or not, and what time he was coming home. I even bought a freezer and eventually even a microwave oven. Now I could freeze the meal if he did not come home, or re-heat it, if he did. So many nights not knowing whether he would be home for dinner or not.
How long did I try to make him understand my dilemma? When I began working there were times I felt like “pay-back” and sometimes came home late, and sometimes came home early. I couldn’t believe it when he asked me what time I would be home, after so many years, never knowing when HE would be home. And then when I started trying to control my weight with the metabolic diet, again, and he suddenly didn’t want to cook for me any more I wondered why he needed to know anyhow.
And then when I suddenly realised that he still had the mobile phone, the car and the home computer, even though I was the one working fulltime and HE was the one at home. I finally got myself a mobile phone. And then when I set up my own business as a communications trainer, I even bought myself a Mac computer, just to have one for myself and to really check out the differences between a Mac and a pc. By then I was already a database expert, focussing on Microsoft Access which did not work very well on the Mac, in fact, not at all. And I was also managing the homepage for the Austrian Women’s Federation for World Peace which was using the FrontPage program, which also only worked on a Microsoft pc, not on a Mac computer.
But there was nothing lost, because when I started working at the International Atomic Energy Agency, I let my sons, one after the other, take the Mac to become proficient in both systems, and eventually was given a new laptop to be able to continue contributing to the NGO work.
Oh, so much to say. When I have time. Just posting now because I have taken time off work. When I have time, I will sort my photos and my biography and tell you my story. Or have I already said too much? And now you are not interested in readying anything from me? Well, I did say I am writing this for myself and my grandchildren.